Falling Apart To Songs...

emo. ignore if you wish.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 07:00:12 GMT

I think like once every couple months I go through a completely weird state of mind. Like I get these feelings where I am really depressed, well not depressed just like... i dont know, its hard to describe. It's almost like unloved, but I know I'm not unloved so it's not that completely... Whatever.. But with this state of mind I get really paranoid that my friends don't want to hang out with me, and they all like each other more than me, and they talk about me behind my back and shit. Like I really don't think that my friends do this, but I start to think about that and it just freaks me out to the point where I get all emo.. I don't know why the fuck I do this!! It's really annoying. It will probably go away soon, but it has been just like plaguing me and my actions lately. It kinda reminds me of how I felt when Joey and Uma were all OMG and I was like pushed to the background, and I felt really blah. It's not like that now, but i guess thats a way that I can describe it...

I don't know... Just letting some people (who actually still read LJ) that if I seem anti-social don't worry about it. I'm probably just being paranoid... But it's not that big of a deal, i'll get over it...

P.S. Santi (New TAI) is good. Different.. but good..

rarar.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:50:37 GMT

TAI TV is back. I'm excited. It's been a while and it's good to see they havent changed... awww im so excited for new stuff, and new tours, and new videos. I guess it's time i change my icon because I can keep denying it but I have to come to terms with the fact that Tom is no longer in the band... The new guy seems cool though.

hahha im such a loser, I think im gonna go sew my grease shirt and make it fit better..

bitchez and hoez

Why are all my entries about music??

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 20:59:40 GMT

I just got the new Fall Out Boy cd. As corny as it sounds, it brings tears to my eyes. They have grown so much.. And it's like.. There's been so much anticipation, and now it's here. I must say I love it.

Last night another new The Academy Is... song was released. I like it. It's a lot different, but i like it. I think this album is gonna be awesome... It's a little disappointing that it's different, but I didn't expect them to stay the same. And I like to hear how William's voice has matured. He is great.

I got my lap top to work, it's awesome. I'm working on getting all my music on it now, because... well i feel like it. lol.

OMG

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 04:45:48 GMT

so yeah, I should be taking a shower right now, but you know, isuck@life.com/emilyford...

Anyway. I was just listening to the newest Fall Out Boy song (Carpal Tunnel of Love) and got really excited for the new album. People might bash on Fall Out Boy all the time, and call them sellouts. And lord knows its everyone in the universe's job to make fun of Pete Wentz, Hell even i do it too. But you have to admit that Patrick's voice is fucking orgasmic. I just wanna lump my panties everytime i hear it. Especially the new stuff, he's obviously worked on it a lot.. and its amazing. Not only that, the lyrics in Carpal Tunnel of Love, are amazing, so as much of a weirdo that Pete is, he has talent somewhere in his little emo body. And I still love him for that, and his ongoing want for his band to do whatever they can for the fans.. I'm so pissed i cant go to their concert at the electric factory, im kind of thinking of paying the 65 dollars for a ticket, but i think thats going a little too far. So yeah, I'm excited for February 6, and I'm hoping for big things, I better not be disappointed..

Second, new The Academy Is... cd March 13, I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. New CD means touring again.. I think they are touring after the release, wouldnt it be amazing if they toured with Gym Class Heroes again or something? OMG i would totally have a lump fest. jk. not really. Yeah, TAI... makes me happy whenever, and the lack of Tom is going to be really depressing, but I'm hoping the new album will still be good without his smiley face onstage. Okay, this is when i realize that I have a problem, and need to 1) get over TAI... I mean they are amazing, but i think i'm going a little nuts. 2) accept that Tom is gone, and go on with my life.. and 3) find what little life i have to get on with... lol.

Third, Gym Class Heroes are coming to the Troc and I HAVE TO GO! like seriously... its a must. I missed them the last time they were here, and I want to see them... really bad. so yeah February 25... i think. Who's there? If anyone even reads this shit...

So thats my music life. I need to shower now, im really gross.

Musical starts Saturday, I'm excited and dreading my lack of sleeping in on saturdays until April.. UGH!

Oh yeah, and I really need to work on my Drexel application. I want to go to a concert to get pictures for it. Anyone know of anything coming up, Once again, if anyone even reads this.

Well I'm out for real to take a shower.

I love you.

rarararar

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 05:04:22 GMT

ever been in one of those moods where every word to every song seems like its about you?

or when every secret on ljsecret seems totally relatable??

yeah thats me these past few days.

ugh.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:10:38 GMT

Wow, i havent written in here in like 50 years. I guess because no one really seems to use livejournal anymore since myspace or whatever. Oh well, I'm writing anyway.

Well, just like a half an hour ago, i guess something happened with joeys car, and him and maggie called me to see if they could come to my house, and I was like half asleep when it happened... and like my dad is back for the first time, and i dont think he wants people there so i was like 'ehhhh' on the phone. So i guess Joey's pissed at me. Because I tried to talk to him and Maggie said that he didnt want to talk.

This really makes me upset, upset to the point that I was about to cry. I know its not a big deal, and this is me blowing things way out of proportion.. but I guess it's just built up stuff over the past few months. Me being lonely, feeling like i'm losing everyone, stress over school, the fact that i'm probably getting suspended, work shit, college stuff.. that makes me really scared. And I would rather Joey say that he was pissed at me than just ignore me altogether because I get enough of that shit from other people that I dont need it from my best friend. But whatever, I mean I would be pissed at me too if I had been in his situation, but i was like sleeping when they called and blah blah blah i already explained this.

But whatever... hmmm what else has been going on. Fucking college is weirding me out. Like other people are already getting recommendations from teachers and writing essays and shit, and I still dont know where I want to go. I guess i should look at schools that offer music management, I think Drexel does and thats not too far away.. But this seems like a decision that's going to impact that rest of my life, and I'm scared shitless. Not too mention, I dont want to move. I dont want to leave this all behind. That's why Drexel might be good because it is in Philly, so if i wanted to i could still live at home, and then drive up there every night.

So what else... Umm, the clint thing is fucking annoying. I basically told him again on sunday that I liked him and i didnt really get a straight answer back, but my way of saying so wasnt in a direct way either so who fucking knows. We like go through stages of hanging out for like 5 days straight, and then nothing. It's real strange, but i really like hanging out with him so i dont fucking know. I just wish this kind of thing could work out for me, instead of being unnecessarily complicated.. I dont even know anymore, I guess i should just stop trying to put myself out there, because its obviously not ending up right for me.. But who fucking knows. Why do I fall hard for people than not do anything about it? I mean what do I have to lose if I just went up to him and kissed him... Like if I made a complete ass of myself its not like I ever have to see him... But I would never do that.

Whatever, this is long, that was me venting...

Homecoming.

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 00:18:13 GMT

It sounds so cliche..

But I wish I was going with him

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:03:36 GMT

FUCK!

things never work out for me easily.

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 15:21:03 GMT

by the way i just saw snakes on a plane at the dollar theater and it made me sadddd :( those snakes were horny and it was creepy.

haha i love forrest

sadgshdg;kjsdhg

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:04:31 GMT

So yeah..

Who's with me in the mission to kill Clint's ex girlfriend? lol...

Apparently she got pissed at him for having me on his top 8, and for liking gym class heroes

And when we were at the movies tonight she texted him saying she still had feelings for him..

It fucking sucks, because I like him A LOT, and I just want to like... kiss him.. but I cant, because I also want to be supportive and give him the time he needs to get things together.

Good news, he texted her back and said that he was over with her, and she needed to leave him alone..
And he is so freaking sweet. It makes me melt..

WHY CANT THINGS LIKE THIS COME EASY TO ME?!

There's always something standing in the way of my happiness

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 15:35:21 GMT

Fuck.. I talked to him for 7 hours last night.. I barely slept.. This is the first time I've woken up before 11 accept for school in 4 months.. I cant sleep.. I dont want to jinx anything, because he seems to good to be true..

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 03:03:26 GMT

I play neopets instead of doing homework... and i wonder why I dont do as well as I could in school.. haha

stole from Katie's myspace... im bored

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 03:49:29 GMT

25 deep questions that will really tell u something about me not stupid questions like " what is ur favorite lip gloss?".

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
While I'm telling them. I have a real problem with that kind of stuff..

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?:
When Holly became a major cunt and... yeah just read my other entry for that

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call?
This reminds me of some thing I saw about Sep. 11th and people actually called their families from the plane while it was being hijacked, i was like damn, that must be such a shitty call to get. I guess I would call my house though and talk to my parents/Matt

4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?:
I probably would tell like my parents, but not my friends, because I wouldnt want them to treat me different... Or I would wait till i had like a week left then tell them. I would just do everything I've ever wanted to do, and get a credit card and fill up the bill on plane tickets to various places I would want to go too. Cuz it's not like I would have to pay it. And I would be scared shitless, but I would try not to think about it.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love or Trust.:
Trust. I hate when people lie to me. And love isnt anything without trust so it wouldnt be worth it.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?:
I would save the dog, and then bring it to work with me and if my boss said anything I would make the dog shit on his desk

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?:
I would probably not tell for a while, then feel real guilty and tell them eventually.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?:
If I felt the same I would be like LETS FUCK! if not then I would be like... LETS FUCK but it doesnt mean anything

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?:
Sometimes... I think I would get annoyed with myself.

11. Does love = sex?:
You can be in love without having sex... if thats what this is asking

12. Do you think it is right to have sex with your ex when he is in a diffrent relationship?
no... He's your ex.. If he wants to get back with you he should dump the bitch he is with and do it.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it?
I really cant remember... I guess it was last week... But I'm not sure if that counts

14. What would be harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?:
That I love them. If anyone knows me at all they know that I am a huge pussy when it comes to telling them how I feel.. I feel bad turning someone down, but I havent put myself out there so its not as bad for me.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?:
My Friends, Music.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?:
I dont know... I guess my mom..

18. Imagine. it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
Sweetie.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?:
Fuck the Homeless.

21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your reason for making the decision?
I would probably let my grandmother fall, then feel real bad about it. But they are like 80 and have lived, the newborn is just starting out.

22. Are you old fashioned?:
No.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?:
I have to be nice at work... and all I get in return is bitching so I guess that counts.

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?:
Love. Why not enjoy it while it lasts.

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?:
Become a Tour Manager for a good band/Work at Fueled by Ramen and mingle with rockstars lol.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 02:44:26 GMT

Holly is such a bitch.. she has taken things way too far now..

So Me Maggie and Brittany wanted some food so we went to Chilis.. I went in early specifically to tell holly that they were coming so she didnt have to talk to them or do anything that involved them... I even told her that if she just told me where to go I would seat myself. So she has to go and tell my fucking manager and all the people I work with about it. So I seem like the bad guy, so I seem like the bitch... When all we wanted to do was eat. well here's the convo. I think it explains enough.

PanicAtTheHolly: well what you did wasnt really cool.
PanicAtTheHolly: there are tons of other restaurants.
OMGz Emilyy: we wanted to go to chilis... they didnt say anything to you
PanicAtTheHolly: and you came to chilis, when i was working
PanicAtTheHolly: still. dont bring them in when im working again
OMGz Emilyy: y does it matter
PanicAtTheHolly: i dont fucking want them there
OMGz Emilyy: it doesnt matter
OMGz Emilyy: so do i
OMGz Emilyy: you dont have to talk to them
PanicAtTheHolly: fine, talk to lay about it
PanicAtTheHolly: jay*
OMGz Emilyy: i didnt even ask you to seat them and i went in early so you didnt even ahve to deal with it
OMGz Emilyy: talk to jay about what?
PanicAtTheHolly: theyre not allowed to come in while im working
OMGz Emilyy: thats ridiculous
OMGz Emilyy: you cant ban someone from a restaurant cuz you dont like them
OMGz Emilyy: they didnt say anything to you
OMGz Emilyy: i made it so they wouldnt
PanicAtTheHolly: well, what other times have they lisetned to you, how about the times when you said "dont say that" in school, huh??! when has that stopped them before
OMGz Emilyy: they didnt say anythign
OMGz Emilyy: they didnt say anything to you at chilis
OMGz Emilyy: we just went and ate food... and left
OMGz Emilyy: we left out the front so you didnt have to see htem
OMGz Emilyy: and i told you you didnt have to seat us
PanicAtTheHolly: yeah, well it wasnt exactly easy for me to fucking look at them without being pissed off
OMGz Emilyy: well it doesnt matter
OMGz Emilyy: they didnt do anythign to you
PanicAtTheHolly: it does to me
PanicAtTheHolly: its not always about you
OMGz Emilyy: you cant tell jay that people cant eat at a restaurant
PanicAtTheHolly: i never said they cant go there
OMGz Emilyy: its a public place, and we wanted to eat there... i even went out of my way so you didnt have to see them
PanicAtTheHolly: i said dont go when im working
OMGz Emilyy: then why did you tell me to talk to jay
PanicAtTheHolly: if you think its a problem to have them not go in when im working
OMGz Emilyy: i think the last thing they need at chilis is to deal with high school drama... we jsut wanted to eat.. i dont see why its such a huge deal
OMGz Emilyy: they didnt say anything to you
OMGz Emilyy: we went in, ate and left
OMGz Emilyy: if they had said something it would be understandable.
PanicAtTheHolly: whatever. i was really mad
PanicAtTheHolly: you know i worked 4 doubles, and you just had tio bring them in tonight
PanicAtTheHolly: when it was busy, and i felt bad asking the servers to take you to a table
OMGz Emilyy: we werent bothering you
OMGz Emilyy: you could have just told me what table to go to and i would have gone
PanicAtTheHolly: you were with them
OMGz Emilyy: you know i know the table numbers
PanicAtTheHolly: im not talking to you when theyre around
PanicAtTheHolly: i dont talk when im around them
OMGz Emilyy: you could have motioned to me and i would have gone to you
PanicAtTheHolly: they mock every fucking word
PanicAtTheHolly: i say
OMGz Emilyy: they didnt say anything
PanicAtTheHolly: and dont say they dont
PanicAtTheHolly: not yet?
OMGz Emilyy: and they didnt say anything afterwards
OMGz Emilyy: we went in to eat and leave
PanicAtTheHolly: yeah, well, i dont ever wanna have to see them afuckinggain
PanicAtTheHolly: you know thats exactly why i switched schools
OMGz Emilyy: well it shouldnt hurt you so much.. if you do that then they win
PanicAtTheHolly: okay, they win
OMGz Emilyy: not that they care
PanicAtTheHolly: dont bring them in anymore
OMGz Emilyy: because we just wanted to eat... cuz i wanted some soup and a molten
PanicAtTheHolly: wait, you're the one who got the soup?!
OMGz Emilyy: i got broccoli and cheese
OMGz Emilyy: and maggie got chicken noodle
PanicAtTheHolly: oh. okay.
OMGz Emilyy: y?
PanicAtTheHolly: just wondering
PanicAtTheHolly: well gtg
PanicAtTheHolly: bye
OMGz Emilyy: thats fucked up
OMGz Emilyy: talk about me being fucked up
OMGz Emilyy: bringing high school drama into a place that we work
PanicAtTheHolly: im just fucking with you
PanicAtTheHolly: chi8ll out
OMGz Emilyy: i dont know that
PanicAtTheHolly: i didnt even go in the kitchen
PanicAtTheHolly: lol
PanicAtTheHolly: bye
OMGz Emilyy: okay... well thats not cool
PanicAtTheHolly: yeah
OMGz Emilyy: because i can get someone in trouble
PanicAtTheHolly: it isnt, is it?
OMGz Emilyy: and it might not be you s
OMGz Emilyy: so dont fuck like that
PanicAtTheHolly: yeah, okay.
PanicAtTheHolly: ditto
PanicAtTheHolly: bye
PanicAtTheHolly signed off at 10:20:50 PM.

If she fucked with my food, I can get her fired... but im not going to sink to her level. I'm just gonna tell my manager that I am sorry, and I didnt think it would cause something huge. And hopefully everything will be done with. I just done get her.

blah.

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 00:52:43 GMT

I spent my day..

Cleaning up after annoying people.
Trying to start my car for 15 minutes while two mexicans watched me.
Trying to coax my kitten into being affectionate.
Playing Neopets.

Some Summer day... huh?

I have been feeling real weird lately..
I dont know what it is, its hard to explain.
It's like... Everyone I know has that one person they can always rely on. Or call their best friend, boyfriend, etc.
And I feel that I dont have that.. I have the best friends ever. But I'm not THE best friend. And it has just been hitting me lately. I think I've just been lonely lately. It's not like OMG I WANT A BOYFRIEND. because I dont really need a boyfriend. But it would be nice to be the special person to someone. I think it's just how I thought I might actually have that with Chris. Then I went to Germany, and nothing happened when I got back. He has my number and everything, but I guess I'm just not important. Or he's sitting at home, thinking the same thing about me. But I highly doubt that. Because in the end he is 20 years old, and I'm just that girl he had a fun time with two times.. I'm not that memorable.

It's like I saw this LJsecret a few months ago and it said something like 'I like to think that I have best friends, but it hurts when they are always each others number one's on myspace, and I'm always 3' And I didnt get that at first... but now I feel what that person was saying. It's an easy way of saying you want to be more.. and the person just used myspace and top 8 as a way of showing how he/she felt.. and i guess thats how I feel..

who knows.

My conclusion.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:36:50 GMT

I have come to this conclusion..

I have a crush on Travis McCoy. He's just so cute!

Happiness! and Sadness..

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 18:38:07 GMT

So... hmm, I guess I will say the happy first..

Hellogoodbye. Cute Is What We Aim For. Reggie and the Full Effect. and Dave Melilo
November 5th.. The Electric Factory.

Its gonna be amazing.

Also that same tour has a Halloween show in New York City. I really really really wanna go, because you know Hellogoodbye has some stuff up their sleeves for Halloween.

Also, after Warped Tour The Academy Is... is going into the studio. Which means new stuff. YAY!

Here's the sadness.. The Paramore/Cute is What We Aim For show is this coming up sunday... and I just found out I work ALLLL day.. BUSSING! yeah, because Greg is leaving for school (thats another sad thing because he is so cute) and Holly is going to Boston UGH! and I didnt request off because I didnt think I would have to fucking bus. I'm thinking of telling him I can work at night, but not during the day, and then I can at least make the free tower records show.. I dont know though.

Another thing I just found out..

Acceptance broke up.. its so sad. That's a good band. I think the lead singer left.. and the band wouldnt be complete without Jason. He was so sweet when I met him.

But Anyway, School starts soon. and I need to do that summer reading shit.. Ms. McVey knows me, and I have a feeling shes gonna know when I am bullshitting. But then again, shes Ms. McVey... haha and so funny. I'm looking forward to school, but its scary. We're gonna be seniors.. and after this year we're gone, leaving high school... The real world is scary. But this year is gonna rock.

Warped Tour.

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 04:55:26 GMT

Oh shit son... in less than 12 hours, I will be at warped tour!!! I cant fucking wait..

I have been looking forward to this all summer. Even while in Germany, I would listen to 7 weeks, and think about it.

I really hope Gym Class Heroes plays that song, and William sings.. It will make my life to hear that song live. I love it so much. Williams voice is so gorgeous in that song. Hearing him in that song and Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) makes me want a new TAI... cd sooooo bad. I cant wait..

So anyway, its gonna be hot as balls, but I will stand forever to see my boys again.. :)

Okay, maybe not forever, but its only one day... and I WILL be at the front for TAI... if its the last thing I do. I am bringing my camera, and this is the first time I will have it at one of their shows, out of the many I have been too... and I want pictures. I also need some more Hellogoodbye pics, because I can never have too many pictures of them and their set. I cant wait, to see the tents, and the great merch.. Basically I cant wait for the whole environment. Everytime I go there I get reminded of what I want to do with my life.. and its so hard to aim for that. But I want to live that way, so badly.

Allow me to make some introductions...

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 04:32:33 GMT

I finally got all the pictures I wanted from Germany, and I also resized them all... So I think I'm gonna show everyone the amazing people across the ocean..

Lufthansa
She's kinda the shit.. I think theres enough said

Linda
This girl is awesome. Not only does she have the prettiest eyes ever.. She is real sweet. I hear she's a schlampe, and her and Katie fought, but I still love her

Leo
Leo is so cool. He almost fought Derek when they were drunk, and it was real funny..
He threw an awesome party though, and Me and Britt definitely beat him in the staying awake contest!

Titties!
haha.. oh Titties. We gave him this nickname because he had some nice titties.. I think thats enough, he was so funny, I think he tried to get with me at Henri's party... but oh well.

Fabian
Fabian didnt speak English... like at all. But he was so adorable and so drunk at Anna's party.. We taught him about cuddling and I loved it.. He gave me a kiss on the cheek when we said goodbye, and it made me weak at the knees.

Basti
Basti is so sweet... and adorable too. Fondest memory has to be the drunk bike ride home from Henri's.
This kid poured beer on my head, but I forgave him.

Markus
He was HILARIOUS!!! He told us he was gay, but then he suddenly wasnt... I was confused, but he was so fun to talk too. He had a major crush on Brittany, and he almost slept in my bed.. haha but that definitely didnt happen.

Lumptastics
I think their names were Kevin and Christoph, but when you look like that names dont matter... These were the first and only lumptastics we saw in Germany, and no other lump matched their standards. I mean just look at that picture.

Justus
This is a weird picture.. but Justus is Anna's boyfriend, and he is real cool. He skateboards, does graffiti and plays in a band with the lumptastics. He is also an amazing artist. He is going places in this world, and I cant wait to say I knew him... Plus he wore tight dickies better than anyone else

Carl
This is the only good picture I have of Carl.. But he was so funny. The noises and faces he made would always entertain me.. Fondest memory: Him drunk in a sleeping bag. Or me and katie writing how we loved him in his little agenda thing.

Henri
Oh Henri... hahahaha.. well. Henri is the lead singer of Los Ultimos, that is a band that Him, Lucas, Max, Carl, and Tim have.. Henri threw the best party I went to in Germany, it was so much fun. He is the shit, even if his brother is a rapist. I loved playing Karten Blazen with him.. And yes, I made out with him.. it was nice, and I dont regret it.. hahahaha

Max
This kid is amazing. He plays guitar in Los Ultimos. He loves Nirvana more than anything else... He also loves Che Marin, and wore a Viva La Revolucion shirt almost everytime I saw him. He was so fun to talk to drunk or sober, and he is an all around nice guy.. by American and German standards.

Lucas
Lucas is awesome. He is probably the nicest germany guy I met. He was always ready to talk to us, and explain things that we didnt understand.. He is also i think the best guitarist I have ever known personally. He is amazing, the stuff he would play would make me gaze in wonder. He has had a rough time with his family, and it made me want to hug him, but he is real humble and proud, so he will never accept sympathy.. I think I love this kid.

Pinky!
Real name: Wincent. But I only found that out in the last week. He has a smile that can light up anyones day, and the way he smiled when we said PINKY! never failed to make me happy. He plays drums, and likes photography (i think). He is so chill and just... pinky.. I think I love this kid too.

Hot Markus
haha, im talking about the kid on the right.. He was known as 'Hot Markus' because we knew 3. I saw him the second he came to Henri's party... He was so hot... He was 15 when we were there, and now I think he has turned 16. I almost stole his necklace but he remembered I had it. He made Henri's party fun.

Robert
Robert threw hissy fits a lot. But all around he was cool. He was so fun to talk too, just because he was always getting that high voice.. and saying 'rock on' or 'shocker!' They called him Laucki.. and it was adorable. He is also so freaking rich it isnt even funny.

Alex/Peggy
Well, well, well.. Alex. Lets just say. Regret. But oh well. He was basically an asshole in Germany. When me and Brittany were mad we called him and Robert butt buddies on their little two person bike. He also molested Katie, so thats not cool... But him and Lucas on that two person bike had to be the cutest thing in the world. And Peggy is Anna's best friend. She barely spoke any english but she was real nice, and was always smiling!

Toni
This is the best picture of Toni ever... Holding a cigarette and drinking a beer. Toni was the best. He was so small yet so fun. I felt so bad that he had to deal with George, bit he made the best out of it.. Plus he can play the accordian, which automatically makes him awesome.

Christian
Christian didnt like pictures, but we managed to get this one. He is so quiet, but so sweet. I remember when I had to talk to some teacher about New York City, and he stood behind her the whole time pointing at me and laughing, and giving her the finger... he was so fun. He was also always listening to music. Him and Toni together was so cute.

Markus
This is a great picture of Markus. He was always drinking. But he is great nontheless. The way he would talk was the best. I loved hanging out with him and his buddies. Fondest Memory: Leo's party when he was drunk and telling us how much he would miss us.. And the 2 minute hug he gave me that like crushed my ribs.

Anna
Last but certainly not least. Anna was the shit.. I am so glad I lived with her. She made my German experience so much fun. I loved our conversations about who was hot, and who wasnt.. She had so many opinions on so many things. They were a lot of fun to listen too. When she is done high school she wants to move to America and be an Au Pair. That sounds so much fun, and I am jealous of her determination and understanding of everything she wants to do with life. Plus her and Justus are gonna have beautiful children, because they are the prettiest couple I have ever seen.

So yeah, thats my germans.. I love them all and miss them to death. I hope you took the time to read all this, because it took me a while to put together...

whoop.

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 21:13:48 GMT

I've been home for a week and 2 days... I miss germany a lot... well not germany so much, but i miss the people. Its crazy how we wanted to come home so bad when we were there, but now I kind of want to go back... well actually I want to bring everyone from germany here, and the ice cream, and calabrese's. Then I would be complete.

I listened to the song 7 weeks a lot when I was over there, and I just listened to it and remembered everything all over again. Everything from the smells to the sights.

But a plus of being home is WARPED TOUR! it is in a week, and i have never been more excited! I cant wait.. Its been 6 months, and thats been long enough.. Plus Hellogoodbye AGAIN! Ugh its gonna be amazing.

Well I have work, and i gotta go...

p.s. I have been listening to boys like girls. I like them. Go listen to them!

Germany

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 11:28:49 GMT

Well it's been the shit. There have been some ups and downs but if I could go back, I would do everything over again exactly the same (accept I totally would have kissed the hot guy at Henri's party. haha). I will miss it like crazy here... I want to get home so badly but it will be so weird to not see the marketplace everyday. And once again i have to say good bye to these wonderful people.. and some more as well. I have made some good friends and its sad to think that i may never see them again. I will always have my memories of these wonderful 3 weeks and that its something no one can ever take from me. Once again we will wave farewell, however now it is us driving away on that bus on our way home.

I am glad I got to fullfill one goal of mine and make out with a cute german guy. haha. Even if he was druink and probably doesnt remember it... oh well, I remember it and the fact that my tongue ring got put into action on its third day.. So to Markus, Robert, Toni, Christian, Linda, the other Markus, Lucas, Max, Pinky, Henri, Carl, Peggy, Frederika, Leo, Basty, Sven, Benjamin, Titties, even Alex and the rapist, all the lumps and lumptastics, and especially Anna, Thank you for giving me the best German experience I could ask for.

As for people in Delaware... BE READY BECAUSE WE ARE ON OUR WAY HOME AND WE MISSED YOU GUYS LIKE CRAZY!!

My day when I get home:
CELL PHONE!
CAR!
TEXT MESSAGING!
CHILI'S!
MALL!
Hopefully JOEY MAGGIE and UMA!
RITA'S

all that should happen tomorrow, so be ready, because I plan on going another 30 hours without sleep so i can get everything I want crammed in!

Besser

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 16:44:53 GMT

Just an entry to say that I feel better since the other day. I was just overreacting.

I went to a party in Markus' village where there was this GORGEOUS guy. I lumped..

and today I saw goats and pigs and ponies, they were adorable.

I like the naturness here, its relaxing. Tomorrow Party At Anna's house for her birthday, and swimming at Roberts..

Tuesday Dresden.. and hopefully lots of shopping. Not to mention Germany is playing Italy in the World Cup.. if they win they are in the final match, if they win that everyone gets wasted and has a huge party!!! lol.

Wednesday, getting my nails done with Britt during school. lol. It will be hottt..

:(

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 21:28:53 GMT

I WANT TO GO HOME!!

I have been on the verge of tears all day. It just hit me that I am here for 2 more weeks, and it kills me. I dont even like spending one night away from my house, what made me think I could do this. I should be real grateful and the people are all amazing, but I miss my home. I miss delaware. I MISS ENGLISH. I dont like feeling like a nuisance. I dont like not having my bed. Brittany and Katie are at the baltic sea all weekend, and I am alone with steve, and i dont like it... I want them back, they were keeping me sane, but now its gone. Anna has a trip tomorrow to some lake. I should be excited, but im not... i dont want to.. i just want to stay in and read. Maybe I will tell her I am sick, because I am sick, FOR HOME.

Well too much complaining now.. i need to stop, this is the best opportunity I could have... Germany won their World Cup match and are in the finals it is hella exciting. I hope things get better soon. Hopefully when Britt and Katie get back they never leave me AGAIN!

OMGERMANY!!

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 14:03:06 GMT

I'm in an internet cafe in Berlin with Britt and Katie. We saw the sign and screamed and ran to this place.. It is beautiful to see a fast internet connection.. (sigh). All the Germans have dial up, it sucks major ass. Oh how i missed LJ and Myspace.

Torgau is gorgeous. It is the cutest town ever. There is a castle right in the middle of it with a pit with bears in it, they are so cute. I love them. The school is really really nice too, and the boys are even nicer (to look at anyone). I lump like every ten seconds (that was for you joey).

There is a super cute italian cafe next to the school. The waiter there really likes us, so that is fun. Do I see free food in my future? I hope so.. haha

Last night Markus had a party and there was lots of alocohol. The bad part? his house is like 16 miles from Anna's and we rode bikes the whole way, plus my biking too and from school I biked about 18 miles yesterday. My ass is killing me..

Germany is really pretty though. I like it a lot. All the shops are so cute. I can't wait to skip school tomorrow and explore Torgau.. It is soooo cute.

At the party a lot of people got drunk, but those germans sure can hold their liquor. They didnt even show it even though they had a lot of drinks. Derek showed it though, it was really really funny. Me and Brittany kept poking him and he just smiled, it was great. I met a gay german guy, he is so freaking adorable.. I wanna do him just so I can say I did a gay german guy. haha just kidding....

I still miss Chris, its pathetico.. Everytime I delete a picture on my camera there he is. FUCK THIS! sike I love it here. But time is going too slow, I want to get home.

Anyway I think time is running out on this thing, and I still need to read some friends stuff... I love everyone, and I miss you all dearly. Leave me some awesome comments to read when I get back on. :D Dont miss me too much.

Good Bye.

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 16:13:36 GMT

Good Bye Delaware.
Good Bye So much wasted time on LJ and Myspace
Good Bye House
Good Bye Room
Good Bye Down and Out (Piano Rendition)
Good Bye The Music or the Misery
Good Bye Chili's
Good Bye Concord Mall
Good Bye Cell Phone (UGH!)
Good Bye Sweetie
Good Bye English
Good Bye Chris
Good Bye Texts from Eileen at random times
Good Bye Joey
Good Bye Uma
Good Bye Maggie
Good Bye Rita's
I cant think of anything or anyone else to say good bye to/I will miss..

If I forgot you I love you.

I DONT WANNA GO ANYMORE! But I do... its so weird. I think im just nervous